The Unlikely Companion (Part 2)

It was Monday. My first test of college. And i was hung over. Not that i hadn’t been hung over, just never before a test. And how i hated myself for it. My hair felt like it had plastic in them that reached into and scratched my brains! My breath stank, but my clothes thankfully, not so rotten.I still needed a Bath though.I hated that feeling of having residual dried sweat on my skin. Dirty but clean. But my main problem right now was Keynes, and his Stupid(well not so stupid)Macroeconomic theory , the only part i hadn’t read for today’s examination. And it was eating me up.

But i had it all worked out. Despite the Slovenly clothes and mind-splitting headache, here i was, an hour early, in class Going through Xeroxed Notes, and Maynard Keynes and his theory would be processed by the corner of my brain meant for processing Maynard Keynes’s theories.. God , I really was thankful to him for today, it was just in that last moment, when i had slipped in the photostat into my Purse the night before.But Had i left the toughest part for last or what? . I mean I liked having a Fun …”Hey , you’re the girl from last night, aren’t you?” A voice said interrupting my chain of thought. Suddenly, this voice was the reason why i wasn’t getting Keynes into my head! “Can’t you see I’m trying to study , there’s a test tod..” I snapped , looking up from the ink on the notes i see the face of the guy who gave me whiskey yesterday. Uh Oh, i’d snarled at the wrong person.

To be fair, he was interrupting me, i would have said the same thing to every other person in his place. I quickly sent a repair statement, “Oh Hi, I’m sorry, just assimilating as much as i can before this Economics test, just a little irritable”. He was rather moved by the answer,as in, he came and sat on the very next seat, and plonked his head into the Notes. “Really , what are you studying”. God why couldn’t he take a hint and move ahead? “Keynes? why are you studying Keynesian economics?”. This was it, If this guy was trying the ‘Oh i’m so cute and nerdy and helpful’ act, it wasn’t going to work.What did he think he was even going to achieve?. For God’s sake, i needed to study, and my time was precious. I replied curtly “Because its part of the syllabus and i’m yet to read it, and its going to come in the test today due Today”. “Oh, you’re right about the syllabus , but you’re wrong about it coming in today’s test”.

Suddenly, a very irritable me turned into a very relieved person who said “What ? really? are you sure?”. There was doubt swimming in my mind, because this was the guy selling alcohol to me the day before, and here he was appearing to be some sort of an omniscient force on the contents of the exams! “Positive, he mentioned it in his last class! weren’t you there?”. Wait, what was he doing in my class, i was in my class, not him! “You’re in my class?” i blurted out as if that was my biggest problem right now!  “Yeah, sure,and trust me, i’ve been writing this test for 3 years, never has a Question from Keynes ever come in it?”. Oh , so that’s why he was in my class, he was an idiot. A dumb idiot who was taking the class again because he failed 3 times!! No wonder he sold alcohol to us freshers! Mystery solved.

“Oh, Thank you so much. That’s a big relief.”. Just then i realised, that even after a commercial transaction with the guy, a loong, mostly pointless conversation, i still didn’t know his name. And i wasn’t gonna say you first this time”I’m sorry, i don’t think we’ve been properly introduced , Hi,  I’m Jetty, and you are?”. And He was…

Unequal Yet Only Just.

…Seven Billion…
If you counted them one by one, it would take a hell lot of time, and by the time you were done, it would be much more than seven billion, so your count would be futile. In this World which i truly believe has crossed the carrying capacity of Earth by a long shot, what are we mean’t to do? “Do what you love” or “Start Loving what you do”. That pretty much answers everything doesn’t it. Because you’re either in this category or the other. But what i realized as i read into that line was , That inequality is inbuilt into the system, and you have to make peace with it. The only difference between someone who parks a car , and someone who drives it (for purposes, you know other than parking) is a college degree the latter could afford. So education, what level of it you have more or less decides where society slots you. Whether you end up cleaning toilets, plates, rooms, or your boss’s feet. Okay, lets say that’s fair enough.
Now imagine Everybody’s as educated (or as dumb)  as everybody else. How do you differentiate(fairly) then?? And let me mention that i’m not even going into gender equality here. Now lets say everybody’s  a brainiac, 3 eyes in the forehead, formulating theorems all day long. suddenly they get hungry, and not one in the entire world knows how to cook a meal. so they go back keep making formulae, and then they starve to the afterlife , where they continue making formulae for heaven…
Exaggeration to emphasize what point exactly??  We need to be self sufficient to a good level, we can’t simply say, that my job is to Make huge ships that can’t sink(and yes this is after the titanic), so somebody else who can’t has an obligation to feed me, to clothe me, to clean me. It’s not their obligation and will never be. No, someone who makes less than you ,  who works a manual job, has anatomical dfferences ,   even if that particular person is dumber than you; It does not imply That they’re yours to command!
We aren’t Created equal, we’re all created different, and we all will be slotted differently in life most of the time unfairly even. But what we all have is a right to EGO. That minimum amount of self respect, and we better give it to every person we meet. Because no matter how high your stack of cards may be, remember someone’s always got it bigger.

I Don’t Want To Like You!!

I Started out saying yeah she’s okay. I mean nothing against her you know. Unfortunately for me , i kept meeting her. There the problem began. I said , hey your company is welcome (well, that’s not what i said per se, but u catch my drift) . She was like one of those moneyplant creepers, growing slowly, so you won’t know that they are, but before you knew it, they’re all over you!! Only in this case, i was all over her.. or at least wanted to be, wait that’s stretching the metaphor a bit too much.
Anyways, now the situation had become such that i worried, when will i meet her. Oh, her hair, Oh her smile, Oh her ear, Oh her .. no i’ll stop here. I couldn’t stop dreaming about her. Everywhere i saw , she was there. Okay it wasn’t even funny !! I was obsessed by now. Oh, But she, she had none the least idea what was going on. So i say, screw the rules f engagement. i’m going in!. so i go up to her and i’m like “hey there, i like you” awkward pause… “a lot”. would you like to have an ice cream with me sometime??. And then she says, she says, the worst thing you can imagine. yeah , that’s right… “I like you as a friend!!”. Well Screw You !!! I dont wanna be friends!!. in fact i wanna curl up in a ball and break your face with a headbutt at the same time!!!
But obviously, you don’t do that.. because lets face it so what, u still like her. You walk away, crying, awkwardly, any which way. but you walk away. It takes time… but you get over her. the sun’s brighter yetta yetta yetta…. You even like love songs again. Yes you’re that okay.
And then… Then Another of that kind strolls into your life… Please girl, I Dont want to like You!! But alas, its too Late…

One Day, One Room.

“where am i exactly??” i asked finally to the stranger in the red tux.. I was confused really. you don’t suddenly wake up in a chair, plush though it was, in a room that looked straight out of a period movie. Only thing was apart from the grandfather clocks and scary paintings, there also was an ipad. So you can see why i was confused.
“well you’re dead.and this, this is the waiting room!” said the other guy.
“And you are”i said, hoping to get all my facts right.
“I’m well, i’m whatever you want me to be.”

he must have caught my smile, because almost as if he were clarifying, he said, “…God, the devil, Your Projection Of either, Or Just a hallucination- these days i get that a lot. Either way for the next half hour, its me and you, in this room and we try to decide where you fit in. The door to my left takes you to your heaven, and the one on my right to hell. Oh , thats right you don’t remember anything before this room, well u jumped off a high rise, and like all people who jump off high rises after seeing too many thumbs up adds, ended up… well here. Because every person who comes here before he ought to, is due to some screw up, my end or yours, i must ask you.. what made you jump?? ”

I was an empty glass right up until that question. Then,Life started pouring in. I was at the beginning, home delivering food in the womb, via umbilical logistics ltd; Playing with those Cheap plastic inflated footballs, feeling like messi now, maradonna then!!;Older now, In class , with so many friends.. all their birthdays, always the loud one, chatting, singing, dancing, playing, to hearts content… then a fight, for a pillow i think, then another for lunch… the birthday parties that i went to started becoming fewer… suddenly i liked very different things… nothing einstien-ish, just different, they’d listen to contemprorary, I’d skip two decades back… They’d watch baywatch , i’d watch Californication… Nobody seemed to be doing what i was anymore… The Folks understood for a while, but then it was just me…I mean i wasn”t a social outcast or anything, i had a lot of friends… Its just that I had no particular inclination, not science, not math, definitely not art(you obviously haven’t seen me draw a straight line)… just being me you know… and in being me, i was alone… It Became too hard , to act like it was all okay, because you can lie to yourself, but everyone needs an audience… so did I… Who knew  i’d find my audience right before i went to hell , and well that’s the story of how i ended up in this room…I guess i never said this to anybody before, because well, i thought it mattered, you know, what others thought of me, Infact go ahead use your god telecomm and ask anyone who knew me, they’ll tell you i was great. you know went to all the social gatherings , talked right, and all that. But i never felt like i belonged you know, as if i were born in the wrong place at the wrong time. Somewhere down the line the whole dance of life was just not worth it, so i put out the music.

The devil In the Tux Listened Intently. For a minute i thought here was someone i understood, maybe this room was where i belonged , because i may have taken the plunge, but i didn’t know there’d be any doors to open. I was scared. Suddenly i realised what i was doing wrong. Fear… was it fear that had paralysed me all my life, only to take it away. And suddenly i wasn’t scared anymore. I mean it was easy now, to not be scared… I was Dead, what did i have to lose… Because fear is not facing reality.

“Hmmm… left door please, My left”… I got up, and went right through…

Next thing i know, i’m on the edge of the terrace, but the bottle of aspirin, that’s full, and it takes a solitary journey down to the ground floor. Me, i turn back , go back , and in My room pick up a pen and start writing. Finally I knew what i had to do.