“where am i exactly??” i asked finally to the stranger in the red tux.. I was confused really. you don’t suddenly wake up in a chair, plush though it was, in a room that looked straight out of a period movie. Only thing was apart from the grandfather clocks and scary paintings, there also was an ipad. So you can see why i was confused.
“well you’re dead.and this, this is the waiting room!” said the other guy.
“And you are”i said, hoping to get all my facts right.
“I’m well, i’m whatever you want me to be.”
he must have caught my smile, because almost as if he were clarifying, he said, “…God, the devil, Your Projection Of either, Or Just a hallucination- these days i get that a lot. Either way for the next half hour, its me and you, in this room and we try to decide where you fit in. The door to my left takes you to your heaven, and the one on my right to hell. Oh , thats right you don’t remember anything before this room, well u jumped off a high rise, and like all people who jump off high rises after seeing too many thumbs up adds, ended up… well here. Because every person who comes here before he ought to, is due to some screw up, my end or yours, i must ask you.. what made you jump?? ”
I was an empty glass right up until that question. Then,Life started pouring in. I was at the beginning, home delivering food in the womb, via umbilical logistics ltd; Playing with those Cheap plastic inflated footballs, feeling like messi now, maradonna then!!;Older now, In class , with so many friends.. all their birthdays, always the loud one, chatting, singing, dancing, playing, to hearts content… then a fight, for a pillow i think, then another for lunch… the birthday parties that i went to started becoming fewer… suddenly i liked very different things… nothing einstien-ish, just different, they’d listen to contemprorary, I’d skip two decades back… They’d watch baywatch , i’d watch Californication… Nobody seemed to be doing what i was anymore… The Folks understood for a while, but then it was just me…I mean i wasn”t a social outcast or anything, i had a lot of friends… Its just that I had no particular inclination, not science, not math, definitely not art(you obviously haven’t seen me draw a straight line)… just being me you know… and in being me, i was alone… It Became too hard , to act like it was all okay, because you can lie to yourself, but everyone needs an audience… so did I… Who knew i’d find my audience right before i went to hell , and well that’s the story of how i ended up in this room…I guess i never said this to anybody before, because well, i thought it mattered, you know, what others thought of me, Infact go ahead use your god telecomm and ask anyone who knew me, they’ll tell you i was great. you know went to all the social gatherings , talked right, and all that. But i never felt like i belonged you know, as if i were born in the wrong place at the wrong time. Somewhere down the line the whole dance of life was just not worth it, so i put out the music.
The devil In the Tux Listened Intently. For a minute i thought here was someone i understood, maybe this room was where i belonged , because i may have taken the plunge, but i didn’t know there’d be any doors to open. I was scared. Suddenly i realised what i was doing wrong. Fear… was it fear that had paralysed me all my life, only to take it away. And suddenly i wasn’t scared anymore. I mean it was easy now, to not be scared… I was Dead, what did i have to lose… Because fear is not facing reality.
“Hmmm… left door please, My left”… I got up, and went right through…
Next thing i know, i’m on the edge of the terrace, but the bottle of aspirin, that’s full, and it takes a solitary journey down to the ground floor. Me, i turn back , go back , and in My room pick up a pen and start writing. Finally I knew what i had to do.